So.... I'm just bored here befoe school. It was too cold to be outside.
I don't like the cold. I dislike the cold. I only like the cold when I'm sitting in front of a fire or under my warm covers or doing something else which is keeping me warm. (In which case I would then not be cold.)

Downtown

I haven't been to downtown in forever, or so it feels like, and I had forgotten how "wow" it is. I just got out of handbell practice and Daddy drove me to the LAPL. We were driving in the middle of all these streets with the sleek & magestic buildings looming over us; it was really... I don't know how to describe it but wow. Sometimes you just have to remember this simple stuff.

A talk with my friend [this looks really long, but it's worth reading]

I was IMing my friend and I somehow let out a ton of stuff, but it felt okay. I hope i don't come to regret it.... I don't think i will, i'm going to trust again, I'm going to really try.

Me (6:00:36 PM): Hey!
Her (6:06:30 PM): hey!
Me (6:06:43 PM): como estas?
Me (6:08:04 PM): [how r u?]
Her (6:09:27 PM): good. im actually much better --- and i are good now lol. and --- and i are good too
Me (6:09:54 PM): yeah? awesome!
Me (6:10:18 PM): i'm ok right now, it was the wierdest day
Her (6:10:33 PM): and im probably calm right now because vanessas friend had IB profin i think its called and it was her proscription and vanessa took 2, one for her one for me so yeah lol
Xnicolettexrawrx (6:10:47 PM): thats cool
Me (6:11:09 PM): thats cool, i need one today had way too many mood swings/illness/tiredness
Her (6:11:32 PM): lol yeah. so what are you up to
Me (6:12:34 PM): no homework so i'm just "surfing the net" (that is the first time i've heard NeOne say that since i don't know when...)
Her (6:13:09 PM): lol!
Me (6:13:32 PM): yeah, just IMing and junk
Me (6:13:41 PM): basically wasting time (it's FUN!)
Her (6:13:53 PM): haha thats koo im playing the wii with like little cousins but they're playing it so im chilln lol
Me (6:15:18 PM): ur Wii! u love it huh?
Her (6:16:01 PM): lol hell yeah haha
Me (6:16:24 PM): i want one, soounds awesome, but first my phone! I need a damn phone! at least i got my laptop
Her (6:20:18 PM): lol yeah you need a phone. and you NEED to get kissed lol
Me (6:20:55 PM): lol, i know
Her (6:21:03 PM): seriously man. haha
Me (6:21:24 PM): that's seriously WOman!
Xnicolettexrawrx (6:21:33 PM): lol true true haha
xMissGuitaristx (6:22:02 PM): lol, yes it is
Xnicolettexrawrx (6:22:14 PM): but yeah seriously. it doesn't HAVE to be the "right person" thats dumb lol just kiss a cute guy or someone you know is a good kisser
xMissGuitaristx (6:23:37 PM): ok, find me cute guy then
xMissGuitaristx (6:23:43 PM):
Xnicolettexrawrx (6:23:57 PM): lol yes. and hurry up lol. how old are you? 14, 15?
Her (6:24:09 PM): well thats waaaay to long to have to go without being kissed
Me (6:24:20 PM): 14, 15 in feb. at least i'm still a freshman
Her (6:25:04 PM): the first first first kiss i got was when i was like 5 but tha doesn't count. then i was kissed when i was 8 then like 10, 11 then 12, 13, 14 lol
Me (6:25:32 PM): i totally believe that, who u kiss when u were ten?
Her (6:25:48 PM): um...this kid named david when i was in miami
Her (6:26:06 PM): no no no! it was aidan
Me (6:26:11 PM): miami! was he ten too?
Me (6:26:24 PM): cheese...
Her (6:26:23 PM): i was in california. i was in miami when i was 8
Me (6:28:10 PM): i need a story like urs, my life is boring & depressing, & it's not even depressed, it's so.... plain....
Her (6:28:21 PM): but yeah get kissed and soo n haha
Her (6:28:31 PM): lol wll spice it up! and honey thats not even half my life lol
Me (6:30:06 PM): i bet! u got a long story huh?
Her (6:30:45 PM): lol mhm haha
Me (6:31:42 PM): yeah, sometimes i wanna talk and talk and just see what happens, if i can figure it all out, and sometimes i just don't give a f**k
Her (6:32:52 PM): and like i may look inosent to some people but "im not that inosent" lol
Me (6:34:21 PM): LOL, looks can be decieving
Me (6:34:31 PM): but sometimes it's all u need...
Her (6:34:36 PM): lol! why are you bleeping the cuss word out lol. why can't you just be like me lol FUCK SHIT DAMN BITCH CUNT MUTHA-FUCKAAA SON OF A BITCH LOL!
Me (6:35:53 PM): I am, sometimes i get pissed and i'll write cuss words and what i'm feeling
Me (6:38:17 PM): like in F block i was mad, sad, ect. so i just put fuck.dammit.dissapaointed.moody.bitchy?.damn!.cuss.fooood.sleep!repeat.... (Lagrimas, i hate that class, it lasts forever...)
Her (6:38:16 PM): lol thats cool. i write too. and i talk on the phone. and i cry and i drink occasionally and i used to cut but not a lot and if i have a ciggaret i'll smoke it but i rarly have those. but i have one now so when im home alone im ganna use it. and listen to music.
Me (6:39:56 PM): i used to do poetry but somehow i stopped... i had suicidal thought a few times but then i thought "Michelle, that is crap. why r u gonna be fuckin stupid like that? no killing here!"
Me (6:40:12 PM): then, i wanted something more temporary, like cuttin but i'm a fn stupidass, and was to scared... sometimes i "accidentally" cut my legs when I shave
Her (6:41:59 PM): hmm i see yeah. i had and kinda have a couple friends like that.. sucks. but somehow you find a way through it. im kinda upset right now...only because i feel on different after i took this IB profin or whatever the hell its called lol. i just want ti either get high which ive never done or something similar.
Me (6:42:58 PM): i did it acctually on accident when I was shaving once, and it was so wierd, i just stared at the blood streaming down my leg, like a red river of pain easing out... but not, cuz the pain was still there.
Me (6:43:13 PM): don't get high though, i don't think you should
Her (6:43:39 PM): lol niice haha
Me (6:45:43 PM): what would u get high on?
Her (6:47:04 PM): haha i can't get high because i have nothing to get high off of lol. when i get home ima have a smoke. it calms me.
Me (6:47:54 PM): u a smoker? or just every-now-and-then?
Her (6:48:04 PM): something good...i dnt know yet..i havne tdone any drugs..yet. hopefully soon vanessa will take me out to a party or something and get me high lol
Me (6:48:58 PM): u party a lot?
Her (6:49:38 PM): every now and then
Me (6:50:52 PM): i don't. i never get invited. i had friends, but i didn't really fit in. I don't think i can...
Her (6:52:01 PM): no ive never been to a real real party with like the rinking and druging before. -- wants to take me to one lol
Her (6:52:14 PM): yes you can. you just need to make a style change thats all. be more..."open minded" try new things. make-up, jewlery, hair styles and accessories. nails. shoes! get into different types of music.
Me (6:55:13 PM): make-up: it's cool, but i can't make me look pretty, jewelry: i love jewelry and clothes, but my parents don't want to spend money on any of that ( ican't wait till i get a job) hair styles: my hair if fucking ugly, it doesn't like, it won;t work with me, so i hate it back and just put it in a pony-tail or braid or something nails:maybe, i need time to do it myself though (again, no money to get them done
Me (6:55:47 PM): and i can't ge any other shoes but these right now cuase my ankle is still healing... damn that ankle!!!!!!
Me (6:57:13 PM): i listen to hip-hop, but it bores me... i mostly listen to KROQ sometime KRTH (oldies).... and i can NEVER remeber who sings what or what it's called!
Me (6:57:31 PM): i got stupid problems.
Her (6:58:41 PM): like i don't get invited to a lot of parties either but im way more known at ramona the when i was at my old school
Her (6:58:52 PM): ugh! have you never heard of like thrift store! they have like vintage sute stuff too. hair just wash it good and strighten it and blow dry it and stuff. change it up. nails you can paint them yourself lol. and shoes don't you have vanes lol or something like that. jelwlery you can make your own with fucking beads that cute and stuff like that. and make up does wonders don't doubt that. and you can look pretty you just need some..fixing up
Me (7:00:04 PM): damit Nicky why you have to be so helpfull, now i have no damn excuse! i'll see what i can do...
Her (7:01:19 PM): music...do you have a CD player?
Me (7:01:29 PM): iPod & cd/radio combo i got in like sixth grade
Me (7:03:11 PM): why?
Her (7:04:23 PM): so do u have a computer?
Me (7:04:55 PM): laptop with crummy internet, so i just use it for movies and use our desktop for internet
Her (7:05:04 PM): because what im going to do to help YOU out is...IM GANNA MAKE YOU A MIX CD!!! lol
Me (7:05:45 PM): u rock. i will listen... i'll try
Me (7:06:01 PM): btw, have u ever heard of postsecret? it's books & you can see some on the internet. u should check it out, sometimes it lookss retarded, but sometimes it's really good stuff
Her (7:07:56 PM): lol yes, yes i do lol. okay. and no i haven't heard of it.
Me (7:08:31 PM): i gotta go, see you tom.
Her (7:08:38 PM): once i get my lap top back lol
Me (7:09:04 PM): they took it away! how sad!
Me (7:09:12 PM): Bye!
Her (7:09:23 PM): haha okay later
Her (7:10:17 PM): lol no my mom is useing it in china lol

This took a long time to fix...
I wonder what life is about to bring for me.

Study

Ok, so I studied for the global test (kinda, I guess, Hey! it's better then nothing!) and the damn scripture magazine has been turned in, so I can almost relax. I'm gonna study for English & do the assignment at lunch.
As you can see, i don't have much to say right now. It's wierd really, cuz if you get me started, I don't think I will be able to shut up. That's a problem I have to solve... Then again, I can be the shyest person. Not so shy that I'll shut myself out, just shy or intimidated that I won't say "Hi!" to people in the halls, and then I see someone smiling at me and I'll perk up and say "HI!" to them. And that makes me seem like a total bitch! Hell, I really dont mean it to come out that way, but I'm sure it must. No one has actually, told me that I'm a bitch, and I don't know shit of rumors, so I can't really hope that people are okay with what I do.

*Sigh* Aaaaahhh!

Sorry, wierd title, I know. I just feel like that at the moment. Life is strange, I am strange, I don't know what the hell is going on and nothing is really even happening! Like Ive said before, if I'm not even going through anything, just daily life, then what's it gonna be like when i have real problems? I am too sensitive, and lately i've been having a TON of moods swings. I swear, one minute I'm singing with my friends, the next i'm hugging myself on the grass. I must come off like a total bitch. Oh, I hope not, I like these people. They seem to be real friends. Maybe. I hope.

NO!

Damn, I finally get to log on and start this up and the bell rings! Darn it!

Madrigal Dinner!

So it's been a while since I posted, since I've done anything really, all cause of the MADRIGAL DINNER!!! It's a dinner theatre we hosted at our school, I was in the play, choir, and orchestra, so I was pretty busy. First, I'm in after-school choir & orchestra from 3-4pm, that's Mon. Wed. Orch; Tues. Thurs. Concert Choir. There goes four days, plus play practices were every day until six. It sounds like forever, but in reality it was only four hours... Anyways, when orch, all choirs, handchimes & actors did it together, practice was until 7pm. I'm so used to it though, now it's gonna be wierd not staying.